When We Look At Each Other

Translator: Gene Png

Genres: Non-Ficton, Memoir

Yeongrong’s family was nearly torn apart by her grandmother’s dementia.

Closer to Byeongrae than to her own mother, Sookhee, Yeongrong watched their relationships unravel in lockstep with Byeongrae’s decline. Little could any of them anticipate that Yeongrong’s Youtube channel – RongRongTV, now boasting nearly 150,000 subscribers - would be their saving grace. It’s a delightful trove of 10-minute clips which capture the trio’s daily life: from doing face masks together to planting flowers and making dumplings. The memoir opens with the family’s backstory, rooted in unresolved grief after Korea’s liberation from 35 years of Japanese colonization.

Much of what makes the memoir refreshing is its hard look at the hard things: from Byeongrae’s outbursts and incontinence, to sacrificing time with friends and silent treatment standoffs when resentment reared its ugly head. There’s also Yeongrong’s inspiring journey out of guilt towards bountifulness and acceptance, as she learns to see beyond her grandmother’s dementia to the person underneath. WHEN WE LOOK AT EACH OTHER is a celebration of impermanence – showing that love isn’t measured by how well we know each other, but by our capacity to embrace and receive each other’s contradictions and changes... and even our worst ‘bad’ habits.

For fans of CRYING IN H MART, WHERE RIVERS PART, PACHINKO and JESS AND NORMA. Shares I WANT TO DIE BUT I WANT TO EAT TTEOKBOKKI’s tenderly brutal honesty on taboo subject matters.